How do we make a loved one do what we want them to do, in the moment we want them to do it, for the reasons we tell them they have to do what we say? This is the plight of anyone who has lived through the frustration of supporting someone who is struggling with addiction and other mental health issues. We want our loved ones to tell the truth, stick to new, positive behaviors, stay accountable and above all else, stay sober. How do we let go of our gnawing intuition that our teenage son or daughter has relapsed again when we don’t want them to feel like we’re monitoring their every waking move? The truth is, ultimately, we can never force someone to do something they don’t want to do. We can, however, create systems which take the room for lying, manipulating, cheating, guessing, yelling, fighting, and crossing the boundaries of our normal relationship, out of the equation.
Imagine this simple scenario. Johnny is seventeen years old and has been in and out of treatment for heroin addiction since he was fourteen. After completing his most recent round of treatment, his parents have decided to monitor his activity closely. Johnny has a tendency to fall back in with the wrong crowd, hang around areas he shouldn’t, and start lying to his parents about where he is, what he’s doing, and whether or not he’s staying sober. Johnny might tell Dad he’s at the library studying while Mom thinks he’s at the doctor getting a checkup. Parents are missing data-driven information which takes Johnny’s anecdotal facts and replaces them with inarguable facts. The triangulation puts Johnny in a position of power and makes the parents feel powerless.
How Hired Power Can Help
Hired Power strives to empower families to recover together by providing data-driven support. Our loved ones might be prone to lying about their behaviors or struggles with addiction, but a digital breathalyzer never lies.
Imagine the scenario with Johnny in a different way. Johnny and his family have signed up for the 1-year contract for Monitoring Services at Hired Power. Johnny knows he is going to be tested at least once a week on Wednesday, but can’t predict other days of the week when his Care Manager will check in and say it’s time for a test. Lately, Johnny has been slipping into his old behaviors and Mom is worried. His Care Manager checks in to say, let’s get a test done before 5pm today. Johnny lets everyone know that he’s at school studying and won’t be home till later. Dad suddenly remembers that Johnny packed to go to the beach that day. Now, in open communication with all parties at once, Johnny’s truth is on the line. If Johnny has relapsed or experienced a “slip-up” in his drinking, a real-time breathalyzer will tell his Care Manager and his family instantly, putting all honest on the table. Taking a look at his location, a Care Manager knows that Johnny is in fact at the beach and can get home to take a test.
If, when Johnny gets home, he breathes positive for alcohol, the family is alerted immediately. There is no confusion, no triangulation, and no carrying on for weeks. Data is provided in real time, with real honesty: where Johnny is, what Johnny is doing, and whether or not Johnny has stayed sober today. The guessing game we too often play as the loved ones of someone fighting for recovery is gone. We have the undeniable answers we need in real time. Moreover, we have the trusted authority of our Care Manager at Higher Power and the transparency of open, authentic communication with our loved one, our family, and the entire team supporting our loved one’s recovery.
The Transparent Truth
The numbers and data-driven information don’t lie where a loved one who is struggling might. Transparent truth helps us to move past the shaming and the stereotyping stigma that those who are “addicts” are “liars”. Addiction changes the structure of the brain, thereby changing the way the brain operates. Areas of the brain which are meant to evaluate ethics, regulate choices, and weigh out consequences, are impaired in their functioning. Additionally, the way the brain thinks about survival and prioritization changes. Addiction is, among many other things, a survival response. When our loved one is in survival mode, that is when they need our support the most to help them create the necessary behavioral changes which allow them to cope with all of life’s challenges, good and bad. The transparent truth helps us move beyond our loved one “messing up” or “relapsing” or “lying” and get a deeper, more intricate idea of what is going on in their life, their mind, their body, and their spirit. Our compassion grows as our communication grows, and as a result, our connection grows as a family.
Call Hired Power Today
We can trust in what information will tell us, and what our trusted Care Manager will tell us, regardless of what a loved one is telling us. As a result, we can rest more peacefully in the truth and move forward with fact rather than try to make sense out of fiction. Our lives are simply made easier and our focus can return to where it matters most: our loved one and their well-being. That is our goal at Hired Power, to help families bring recovery home. Our recovery services are designed to support your family through every step of the recovery journey so you can focus on what matters most. For more information, call us today: 1-800-910-9299
