Enabling vs. Love

When you have a loved one who is living in active addiction, as a family member or partner, this is a difficult event to watch. Many family members feel a sense of obligation to provide money or a means to support their loved one in active addiction.

Try not to beat yourself up. Your care and concern for your loved one is important. One day soon, the hope is that your loved one will choose recovery. There is a difference between loving someone and enabling them to continue their addiction.

Enabling is when you provide a means to allow your loved one to continue using. For example, providing money when they are in withdrawal is enabling. Allowing them to pressure you into helping them is enabling. Providing shelter if your loved one uses drugs or alcohol in your home, despite your requests for them not to is enabling.

Even though, you want to help them, protect them, and keep them as safe as possible in their active addiction, allowing them a means to keep using is counterproductive. There is no doubt that you have deep love and empathy for your loved one.

Enabling may allow your loved one to continue having a means to use or drink. If anything were to happen to them, you may end up feeling guilty. Even though your loved one’s dependency to drugs or alcohol is not your fault, guilt would be a natural reaction.

When enabling stops, your loved one is forced to take a hard look at their life. You can still love them, but not encourage addiction. You can offer them detox, treatment, and even a safe place to sleep if they get help. There are services available to assist in sending a message of love and support for your loved one, while remaining steadfast.

Holding an intervention for your loved one may be the best way to express your love, while holding firm boundaries. An intervention allows you to express your feelings and offer treatment immediately. One of the goals of an intervention is to establish boundaries encouraging your loved one to go to treatment.

Hired Power uses innovation and compassion to connect you to the right support. Through our range of services and expertise, you can learn how to stay sober. Contact us now at 714-559-3919. Let us help you figure out the next steps to take towards your recovery goals.